Monday, March 9, 2015

March to Mania Year 3: WWE No Way Out 2009 Review

March to Mania Year 3:
WWE No Way Out 2009 Review

 
Elimination Chamber Match: WWE Championship
Triple H def. The Undertaker, Jeff Hardy, Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov and Edge(c)(36:00)
Thoughts: You had to think something was up here. I mean, when was the last time a WWE Championship match opened a PPV?(The answer for those curious is No Mercy 2007) If that didn't raise your alarms, then Edge getting eliminated in the first five minutes of the match certainly did. The next ten minutes of the match featuring Jeff Hardy, Vladimir Kozlov and the Big Show dragged considerably, but the situation improved considerably once HHH and Undertaker entered the match. And then all kinds of awesome broke loose when HHH and the Undertaker were the last two men in the chamber. Watching the chemistry between those two men made me remember how underrated and almost forgotten their match at WrestleMania X-7 was and also reminded me of Taker’s epic encounter with Shawn Michaels at the end of Royal Rumble 2007. So Trips walked out of here WWE Champion and I was half expecting at the time for this to lead to a HHH/Edge match at Mania since Edge had a thousand and one reasons why this was a fluke, but as we know, that didn't happen. Too bad.
Rating: ***3/4

No Holds Barred Match
Randy Orton def. Shane McMahon(18:15)
Thoughts: I’m kind of torn on this match. It told a good story and there were some big bumps, but overall it still felt somewhat underwhelming. I think the problem is that we’ve come to expect complete and total insanity whenever Shane McMahon steps into the ring, and this match wasn’t quite up to that lofty level of craziness. It started well, it really did, but something about this match just didn’t sit right with me. Shane O Mac should have charged right off the bat and his fury should have remained unchecked. The monitor shot I think genuinely scrambled Orton a bit and made them scramble to change the plans a little. Still it was goodness. But the finish? After all the beating, an RKO finishes it? I would have bought that if the RKO had landed on the chair, but as it is, it kind of made the match fall a little flat. Still, it was good. 
Rating: ***

ECW Championship
Jack Swagger(c) def. Finley(7:56)
Thoughts: This match had no chance of winning over the crowd. After almost one hour of wrestling and two gimmick matches, I don’t think the crowd really cared who won this match; rather, this match was the definition of a piss break. It’s a shame though because the match was solid. At least up until the Hornswoggle interference. I’m not sure who booked the finish, but it was pretty weak. It seemed like they were building a Christian/Swagger match for Mania, but like HHH/Edge, that too didn't happen.
Rating: **1/4


All or Nothing Match
Shawn Michaels def. John Bradshaw Layfield(13:30)
Thoughts: How do you know when you should hang it up? When Shawn Michaels can’t get a good match out of you! Shawn is more than a professional wrestler. He’s like a freaking force of nature. He can pull a decent match out of anyone. Or so I thought, because this was the show that Shawn Michaels’ near limitless talent was bested by what is evidently the most powerful force in the universe, that being John “Bradshaw” Layfield’s SUCKITUDE. I appreciate what Layfield brings to the business and I’ll be the first to admit that he’s gold on the mic and phenomenal as a commentator. But he needs to stay the hell out of the ring. This match was slow and plodding and that’s just plain alarming given the fact that Shawn Michaels was in the ring. In addition, the finish only made things worse. I mean, shouldn’t Michaels have been disqualified when Rebecca slapped Layfield? Combine dreary in-ring action with a contrived finish, and you have one of the most disappointing matches we’ve seen in quite some time. The only silver lining was that this allowed Shawn to start his feud with Undertaker, so take that away from this.
Rating: *1/2


Elimination Chamber Match: World Heavyweight Championship
Edge def. Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, John Cena(c), Mike Knox and Kane(29:47)
Thoughts: No, that wasn't a typo. Before the match, Edge came out and attacked Kofi Kingston. Then he ran into the chamber and secured himself inside a pod. The refs just said fuck it and allowed him in the match since Kofi couldn't do it. Still don't understand why they did that to Kofi though. Anyway, there are a few things you have to know about this match. First, this match ruled. It was a great way to close the show. Second, Rey Mysterio was GOLD in this match and was by far the star of the show. Forget that guy who became COO, Rey Mysterio was the MVP of No Way Out 2009. He turned in the single most impressive performance in the history of the Elimination Chamber and even managed to eclipse Rob Van Dam’s spectacular showing in the very first Elimination Chamber Match at Survivor Series 2002. Third, Kane and Mike Knox entered the match third and fourth, much like Vladimir Kozlov and the Big Show did in the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match, but Kane and Knox looked far better than Kozlov and Show. However, most of the credit there should still probably go to Rey Mysterio. Fourth, Cena’s quick elimination, and the way that it mirrored Edge’s quick elimination early in the night was hella sweet. Fifth, the way that Edge has continually found new and interesting ways to be the “ultimate opportunist” is a thing of beauty. So yeah, this match had all kinds of awesome in it. I heartily approve.
Rating: ****1/2

 Final Rating:
 3 out of 5 

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