WWE Wrestlemania XXIV Review
Belfast Brawl
John Bradshaw Layfield def. Finley(8:38)
Thoughts: This is kinda a weird choice to open the show, but whatever. Regardless of why this opened, this was just a fun match to watch. You have two people who specialize in that brawl-type persona and they beat the hell out of each other. However, this match was kinda a disappointment, considering this is the blowoff-by-proxy of the months-long McMahon paternity angle. I mean, all the crap that happened during this angle all lead to this? I don't fault either of these guys, but that’s not really a lot of bang for as much buck as they had spent
over the 7 or 8 months the angle lasted. BTW, did we ever find out what the deal
was between Vince and Finlay?
Rating: ***
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
CM Punk def. Chris Jericho, Mr. Kennedy, John Morrison, Montel Vontavious Porter, Carlito and Shelton Benjamin(13:57)
Thoughts: There's not much in the way of story, but who cares about that when you're watching these guys try to out perform each other. This just had a bunch of crazy spots, from Morrison's moonsault to the outside while holding a ladder, to the Tower of Doom spot, to Benjamin crashing through a ladder, to Matt Hardy returning and giving MVP a Twist of Fate from the top of a ladder; I mean there's so much to talk about. As matches strung together by nothing but crazy spots go, this is
about as good as you can get. Like I said, no real storyline or flow to speak of,
but the spots and return of Hardy made this highly exciting.
Rating: ***3/4
Interpromotional Match
Batista def. Umaga(7:08)
Thoughts: I love how they still did these types of matches in the late 2000s when brand loyalty had already died. They slug it out early, which is a good idea, cause let's be honest, if you saw someone trying a lockup in this match, you’d be fucking pissed. Umaga dominated most of the match, until Batista blocked the Samoan spike, then followed with a spinebuster and a really sloppy Batista Bomb. This was basically every 1980s power match rolled into one. It was like
Haku vs Hercules where 80-percent of the match is the heel doing boring
offense before the babyface makes a comeback.
Rating: **1/4
ECW Championship
Kane def. Chavo Guerrero(c)(0:12)
Thoughts: Kane won a battle royal before the show started to get this shot. The bell rang, Chavo ran to Kane, got caught in a chokeslam and that's the end of it. I suppose it was good for Kane since he had been a glorified jobber for a while before this and what better way to win it than in such a great squash like this?
Rating: N/A(+5 for Epic Squash)
Career Threatening Match
Shawn Michaels def. Ric Flair(20:23)
Thoughts: Flame Shield coming up for this one. First off, that was one awesome robe Flair wore down to the ring. Also, the part of Ricky Steamboat was played by Shawn Michaels(Watch the match again, you'll get it.) They chop it out. Flair punts him and drops the knee to the
eyes. Shawn blocks a charge and goes up, but Flair catches him. ROLE
REVERSAL!!! We have some fantastic commentary by Lawler as he turns the “Old Yeller” setup
on its ear by reminding everyone that they didn’t kill Old Yeller
because he was old; they killed him because he was rabid. One of the reasons people love this one was because of the emotion involved and the ending captured that perfectly. Shawn backs off to the corner to tune up the band. Flair tearfully
staggers to his feet and tells Shawn to bring on his sweet career oblivion.
Shawn, also crying, mouths, “I’m sorry. I love you.” BANG! The 3rd Sweet Chin Music. Flair
goes down and Shawn covers for the win. The replay shows a Obi-Wan like moment as Flair lowered his guard and just accepted what was coming. Now many of you would give this five stars, but to me, the wrestling here was more three and a half stars. However, if there is anything here worth the five star rating, it's the storytelling, so...I'll split the difference.
Rating: ****1/4
BunnyMania Lumberjill Match
Beth Phoenix and Melina def. Maria and Ashley(7:57)
Thoughts: Isn't this the most appropriate match to do after all the emotion poured from the Flair/Michaels match? I don't even remember what happened in the match; all I remember was that it blew! I'm moving on, but I'll say this: I've seen worse womens Mania matches that this.
Rating: 1/4*
Triple Threat Match: WWE Championship
Randy Orton(c) def. John Cena and Triple H(14:10)
Thoughts: Orton winning this match came as a complete shock to me, but this was the right decision creatively; I just never thought they’d do it.
Orton got a decent pop because he really was the also-ran in his own
title defense. The match was even booked as such with each babyface
taking turns beating the holy hell out of Orton and him getting in a
move only when someone’s back was turned. Good booking there. I really don't have much to say with this 'Breakfast Club' Triple Threat.
Rating: ***1/2
The Biggest vs The Best
Floyd Mayweather def. The Big Show(11:36)
Thoughts: Match is made into a No-DQ match at nearly the eleventh hour. Show is the clear babyface here... which is probably not how they
envisioned this when it was signed, but strangely, it works though. It’s like David
vs. Goliath if David was an arrogant bitch. Floyd stops to get a drink
from his chalice. Now that's a great heel move. And he’s probably not even
trying to get heat. Floyd tries to choke him out Cary Elwes-style, but Show flips him over and stomps on his arm. Mayweather’s Rocky V-ish
manager objects, so Show just starts stepping on Mayweather to the
delight of the crowd. Floyd’s entourage decides to get him the hell out
of there. Show tracks them down and drags Floyd back to the ring.
Floyd’s homeys buy Floyd enough time to recover and hit Show with a
chair. That staggers Show enough for Floyd to take off some of his
homey’s bling bling and knock Show out with it. JR called him 40-0, But I'm not sure if this actually counted towards his streak. I know Big Show isn't known for his great Wrestlemania performances, but this was one of his better ones.
Rating: **3/4
Main Event: World Heavyweight Championship
The Undertaker def. Edge(c)(23:51)
Thoughts: The match told a great story with Edge wrestling a smart match, always one step ahead of the
Undertaker’s usual moves, but of course, the Undertaker is superhuman,
so even Edge’s best game wasn’t good enough. Here's an interesting stat:
Undertaker(13,23,24) tied Hulk Hogan(5,7,9) and Steve Austin(14,15,17) for most World Title wins at
WrestleMania(3 each). Also, Taker has beaten every member of Evolution...what, it's an interesting fact. This could've been five star material, but what ruins it is the commentary. I mean, two guys just gave a hell of a performance and it was nearly
ruined by hacky commentary. Twelve Michael Cole catchphrases referring
to these guys, but once Taker turns Edge over into the finishing move
he’s been using for weeks in the main event of the biggest event of the
year the best Cole can come up with is “there’s that move!” If you
haven’t come up with a marketable name, just call it a “gogoplata.” I’d
be equally critical of Joe Buck if he were calling the Super Bowl and
said, “Tom Brady rolls right. Looks down the field. Scrambles. He has
a man open! Brady throws! Caught by… ‘that guy’ for a touchdown!"
Rating: ****1/2
Final Rating:
3.66 out of 5
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